Monday, May 17, 2010

Never Say Never

Posted by Newme at 5/17/2010 12:37:00 AM

I know you’ve probably heard this a millions times but it’s really true.  Never say never!  Actually, it’s really a good idea to avoid absolute statements entirely.  It never fails, ok maybe I shouldn’t have said never, but somehow it does seem to fit here.  Anyway, it never fails that I say something like “I never get colds” and then I get sick.  Or “I’ve never had a ticket”.  Yeah, guess what happened within weeks of that statement. 

But it doesn’t just happen with the smaller things.  There are a few specific things I’ve said I would never do.  And as fate would have it, I either have done them or am still doing them.

To start with, at a very young age I said I would never teach.  I hated teaching anyone anything.  So what did I end up doing?  I homeschooled my children for about 15 years, every grade, every subject imaginable.  Did I love it?  Well it had its good points and bad points.  It was a lot of work.  I felt it was important that they have plenty of socialization so along with all the teaching, I ran them to all kinds of activities.  Not to mention it’s not easy to be your kid’s teacher and parent.  But I’m really glad I did it, and if I had to do it over again, I would, without hesitation.  I probably learned more during those years than they did.  Patience probably being my biggest lesson from that.

Another never had to do with cleaning.  I hate cleaning!  I mean I really really hate cleaning!  But my husband was out of work during a previous recession and one day the idea came to start a cleaning business.  Now I’ll admit he still does almost all of the cleaning.  But I do help with the commercial accounts.  Thankfully, at the moment we only have one of those.  But there have been times that I was working a few days a week with him on them.  Did it cure me of my aversion to cleaning?  Not one little bit.  And I still do as little as I can get away with around the house.  But I admit that this business has been a godsend and has supported our family for over 15 years.  So I guess in that way, I’ve learned to love cleaning…..that is, so long as I’m not the one doing it.

I told my children, under no certain terms, that I would never be taking care of my grandchildren.  Of course they could come and spend the night…when I wanted them to.   But I did my job and raised four kids and I was not about to be the family babysitter.   Well I shouldn’t have said never, because my son got a girl pregnant a few years ago and she had a beautiful little girl, who now lives with us.  Actually, I should say, she and her father live with us.  There was a fairly long period of time when her mom decided to take a break from parenting and so I ended up being my granddaughter’s mother.  The mom is now back in the picture, and she has her a few days a week, but I pretty much have her the rest of the time, because my son works pretty long hours.  This is kind of a love hate situation for me.  I adore my granddaughter!  One moment she’ll be cracking me up by the hilarious things she does, and the next she’s driving me nuts getting into everything.  Of course I know that’s typical for a toddler.  But there are times that I resent her parents because this was not supposed to be my job.  I did my job!  And now they should be doing theirs.  And then I look in those big blue eyes and that adorable little face and I know that she needs me.  And if she didn’t have me, she’s wouldn’t have anyone to help make sure she turns out ok.  And yet my selfish side says that this was supposed to be the time of my life that was for “me” or even more important for my husband and myself. Well……maybe someday it will be.

So I’m here to tell you, watch out what you say never about.  Life has a way of taking what you say you’ll never do, and turning it into something that takes you in directions you never thought you would go.  Sometimes it teaches you life lessons that you really didn’t want to learn but needed to.  And then there are those pleasant surprises, things you didn’t know you really did want in your life after all.  Life is funny that way.

1 comments:

Patrope on May 17, 2010 at 3:58 AM said...

As always, very well written and a great subject for others to contemplate.

 

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